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How to make a husband of a real man?

In the beautiful name man   Have the courage and become,   The ability to think and dream,   Be inspired strong   Be able to appreciate, be able to give   Warmth and friendship without fail

In the beautiful name "man"
Have the courage and become,
The ability to think and dream,
Be inspired strong

Be able to appreciate, be able to give
Warmth and friendship without fail.
And for a family to be a support
And for children - the right example.

With these verses, one of my friends, a wife and mother, spoke about the role in this life of a real man - father and husband. Some women, having read these inspired lines, will say with disappointment or even anger: "She would see my hubby, when he crawls home on eyebrows", would not have composed fables. " But, probably, there is not a single woman in the world who would not want such a reliable person worthy of these kind words, a reliable person to walk next to her in life - A REAL MAN!

So, dear readers, let's talk about men. By the way, if you want, you can show them this article: there will be something to talk about in the evening over a cup of tea. What kind of people are they that bring us, women, happiness, grief, joy, sadness? Why do not we sometimes feel, walking next to them, a strong shoulder and support? Let's try to find answers to these questions. What if the reason for us women?

Secret One: Give him compliments.

Have you ever made a completely innocent remark to your husband, to which he unexpectedly sharply reacted, or maybe he closed for a while? You wonder ask yourself: “What did I say?” Very often wives inadvertently make harsh remarks about their husbands, hurting them. Replicas like: “Is it like a man?��, “Where is your male pride?��, “Where do you only grow hands from?” And the like do not only humiliate a man, but also distance him from his wife. King Solomon, a great sage and a wonderful psychologist, in his Proverbs offers his vision of the secrets of family happiness: "A wise wife weaves the house." The role of women, wives in building a happy home and trusting relationships in the family is extremely large. It is the wisdom of his wife that will help a man to become a head of the family

If a man feels that he lacks any essential masculine quality, he is trying with all his might to hide this fact from everyone, as well as from his own wife. He can resort to sarcasm, irony, sharpness in conversation, even despotism. And no one, including his close ones, even guesses that this is only a trick by which he seeks to protect his vulnerability. And if the wife constantly indicates to him the missing quality, and even compare her awkward spouse with a more skilled neighbor, then she will achieve only one thing - the husband will turn into a languid snail, and she herself will turn into a chirping, eternally dissatisfied magpie.

At one of the family counseling, a woman told me that her husband really disliked working in the garden. In their small area, man's hands are very necessary, because she herself is weak in health. And her husband does not respond to her constant complaints and requests for help. On the contrary, under any pretext, he tried to sneak out of the house as quickly as possible, until his wife managed to “harness” him in the garden. Their relationship became strained, so she even declared in her hearts that she didn’t need such a man at all, only the name that she had a husband. It turned out that she often humiliated her husband. After our conversation, the woman decided to change her attitude towards her husband and try to see something good in him, although she “does not see any prospect in this.”

After some time, the woman came to me again and told me about the changes: “Once I managed to persuade my husband to help. He took a shovel and began to dig up the garden. I was standing nearby, attuning myself to the “new vision of the old,” and suddenly I involuntarily admired him, his muscles in my arms, with light movements. I could not resist and crumbled in the compliments in his address! You say a real man! I didn’t even think that my words were so important to him. Of course, he didn’t immediately show that he was glad to admit, but I no longer have problems with the garden! ”

Wives need to know that a very important need of a husband is the recognition of his importance in the family, his best qualities, abilities, authority and dignity. A wise wife will satisfy this need of a man. She will try to maintain his confidence even when no one else does.

The secret of the second: to support him in successes and failures.

Wives sometimes do not quite understand what efforts are required from a man to earn, provide, feed his family. Men rarely talk about it. They do not say that they would have treated the needs of their halves with greater understanding if they had achieved greater success at work. If a man does not receive satisfaction from his work, this will certainly affect his relationship with his wife. This is where the wisdom of the wife is needed. She can either contribute to the success of her husband, or interfere and thereby contribute to the destruction of their marriage.

“My husband had a prestigious higher education, but due to certain circumstances he had to go to work as a seller to the market,” Valentina tells her sad experience. - I could not accept this situation. It seemed to me that my husband is simply not looking for opportunities to change something, that he was simply spilled. When he came from the market, I tried to provoke him, to pin up a man to wake up in him. ��Well, how are our geniuses running errands? - I asked. ��Do you even scratch the rent this month?” The husband silently withstood my attacks and mockery, but one day he did not come home. He divorced me and married another woman. Today he is a successful businessman, a confident man, and I will be clearing my irony and sarcasm for a long time. ”

This is a sad experience. But it is useful for those who practice such relationships in the family. Solomon says about such wives: "Grumpy wife, that drops", or: "It is better to live in a desert land, than with a shrewish and angry woman." A woman’s ability to express many uncontrolled negative emotions can make a family’s life bitter. Usually, children living in such an environment tend to fly faster from their native nests.

Secret three: let him go fishing

Wives should remember that a husband needs friends outside his home. This is not the neglect of his wife. Do not be jealous. There is a category of men who, rejoicing in their success or success, have a great desire to show off to their friends, to receive approval and recognition from their colleagues. They want to go fishing, invite friends home or arrange a holiday in nature. Since women tend to keep the family home, she wants to share the joy of happy moments with her husband herself, expects them again and again, and her husband’s desire to celebrate success outside the family circle is perceived by her in hostility, and her anxiety, discontent, bewilderment or outrage cause her to quarrel and misunderstanding. His wife should treat this feature of a man with great understanding so that meeting with friends outside the home does not evoke a feeling of guilt in him. Typically, the satisfaction of this need allows the husband to be attentive to his wife, increases his self-esteem.

Secret Four: Do not give him advice.

Experiencing stressful situations every day, husbands need not a man who willingly gives advice, but an attentive listener. If the wife knows the answers to all the questions, then the man is worried about the inferiority complex. It will take a little time, and the husband will no longer trust his worries to the know-it-all, he withdraws into himself, and his wife sadly observes: "When he was courting me, he was not so silent."

Men prefer not to talk about their problems or failures. They try to solve them alone. Sometimes a man is not even recognized as a friend if he is not sure that he will help. Such is the masculine essence — not to shift your problems onto other shoulders, but to solve them yourself. If a man prefers not to tell you about his problems, do not force him. Give him as much time as necessary to cope with the problem or decide to tell you about it. At such times, better help him regain composure with his encouragement, goodwill and faith in his strength.

Source: 1001-sovet.com

What kind of people are they that bring us, women, happiness, grief, joy, sadness?
Why do not we sometimes feel, walking next to them, a strong shoulder and support?
What if the reason for us women?
Have you ever made a completely innocent remark to your husband, to which he unexpectedly sharply reacted, or maybe he closed for a while?
You wonder ask yourself: “What did I say?
Replicas like: “Is it like a man?
?, “Where is your male pride?
?, “Where do you only grow hands from?
?Well, how are our geniuses running errands?
?Do you even scratch the rent this month?
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